SingleStuff.com

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Date Like You Aren't

Going To Live Forever!

		This may come as a shock, but you aren’t going to live forever.
	It so so hard to find a good person to be with - that makes it hard to leave someone you should not be with - but you still need to consider the cost of staying...		Staying with the wrong person
		Not every relationship is forever. And there is nothing wrong with a temporary or short term relationship as long as both parties have realistic expectations and realize that it is only temporary.
	But if you’re wanting to be in a permanent relationship, how much sense does it make to be in your current “temporary relationship”, literally killing time? Like I said, you aren’t going to live forever.
		Here are two potentially unhealthy ways of approaching romance that you might not have thought through:
	You haven’t been able to meet the right person, so you are temporarily enjoying the company of someone who does not meet your long term needs. This person has a lot going for them, but you need something they haven’t got (or need to avoid something they have got). Still, they are someone to eat out with, talk to, or sleep with.		“Filling The Gap”
		What you may not have considered is that your temporary relationship keeps you from being available for the right one when it does come along. What if that right person has noticed you, but isn’t the sort of person who would consider intruding in an ongoing relationship? You lose.
	Or perhaps your temporary relationship prevents you from going to the dances and parties that might offer you the chance to meet the right person. The simple fact is, your temporary relationship may be making you unavailable for a lasting relationship.
	“It Takes A While”	You just got out of a relationship, and you are emotionally bruised, so you take a few months to recover. Then you decide to find a new relationship, so you date around for a few months, until you meet someone who might work out. You date for a few months, with both of you careful not to “rock the boat” by getting into any serious or controversial issues. When you both finally get around to being yourselves, you discover that your partner is not likely to be the one you are looking for.
	Unfortunately, you have become involved, and moving on is a little tough. This cycle of meeting someone, learning about them, breaking up, licking your wounds, and then meeting someone else takes time - and like I said before, you aren’t going to live forever. The key is to shorten the cycle, and the best place to shorten it is near the beginning.
		Know what (who) you want, and be up front about it. The truth is a great tool for weeding out the wrong relationships early. In doing so, you avoid the problem of getting close to the wrong person and the resulting pain that you (both) experience when you leave.
	So much of what many people have been taught about dating pertains to "hanging on" to someone, typically by presenting the "best" characteristics and concealing your "flaws". Maybe that is exactly opposite of what really makes sense!		A Crazy Alternative
		After all, if the other person ends up being around for a while, they are going to discover it all anyway, so why not see if they like who you really are - before you both invest a lot of time and emotion? Be "real" from the beginning - sure you could "hang on" longer the other way - but why would you want to?
	The best partner is someone who loves the things about you that make you unique, not the things you have in common with everyone else! Do you laugh too loud for most people? Find someone who loves that laugh!
		When they love the "only you" parts of you, you will feel much more secure - after all, you are the "only you" around! Compare that to having them love the things you have in common with everyone else of your gender (not very special!) - and their ignorance of the things about you they would hate if they ever discovered. Quite a difference when you think about it from that perspective....

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About SingleStuff.com
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Articles
	Dating Services, Matchmakers, and On-Line Alternatives	We did a little research, and made a few observations. Our opinions on some of the available ways for singles to meet people in the DFW Metroplex.....
	We are convinced that there are a lot of really great single people, and meeting them eventually means dating. The key is to be as safe as possible in the process... This article takes a look at telephone privacy, e-mail security, and some things to think about when you finally meet "face to face".		Dating Safely
	Intimacy	Intimacy is a lot more than just sex - this article takes a look at the "Leave It To Beaver" television family to examine various forms of intimacy.
	You should not make a bunch of compromises or changes in order to "catch a mate", that is dishonest to you and them. On the other hand, if you were to be totally honest, there are some self improvement issues you have been avoiding that would make you happier with yourself - and more attractive to the opposite sex!		It's Broke, So Fix It!!
	Church and Singles	Exactly how does a single person choose a church - by how large the single's group is? Will you really meet a "better" person at church? We have some thoughts you may want to consider....
	You're through licking you wounds from your last breakup, you date until you meet someone great, you go out a while until you discover they are not for you, you break up, and lick your wounds. This takes too long, there has got to be a better way!		Date like You Aren't Going to Live forever
	Finding The Perfect Partner, Having It All In Three Easy Steps	Yeah, right! Have you ever considered that some of the things you are looking for in your "perfect partner" are almost impossible to find in one person - we call them the "incompatibles". Another thought - while you are running around looking for someone who probably does not exist, you are missing your chance to meet someone who does....
	Is it possible that there are "professional singles" who are great at being single, but don't have what it takes to develop long term healthy relationships? Is it possible that they need a constant supply of "fresh meat", naive singles? Is it possible that some singles groups help make this system function?		Single Groundhogs and Their Predators
	It's A Numbers Game... But You Can Improve Your Odds	Let's be realistic - finding the right person for a great relationship is a lot like looking for the proverbial "needle in a haystack" - and settling for less doesn't seem to make much sense either! People with limited options tend to make bad choices, so let's look at some of the ways to improve your odds.
	You know you've asked yourself that question - so, where are they? Bear with us as we take a look at some pretty revealing statistics - then we explore what they mean to a single person looking for a relationship.		Where Are All Of The Good Ones?
	Articles and information appearing in SingleStuff.com simply represent our opinions. We do not pretend to be counselors, psychologists, attorneys or other professionals, and any advice you read here should be taken from that perspective. If you need legal, psychological, medical, or other professional services you should contact an appropriate professional.