SingleStuff.comA Better WayFor Singles To Meet Each Other |
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How To Do It! |
You can’t. It’s that simple. | |||
| Many people have only a very vague idea of who they would really like to meet. All too often, the expectation is unrealistic - unrealistic for lots of reasons. This is one view of those expectations.... | ||||
| I know a woman who wants to meet a man who is successful in business. You know him, a “captain of industry”, a strong leader who built a company out of vision, years of hard work, and risk taking. She also wants him to be sensitive to her needs, take time to listen to her express her feelings, and give her the freedom to pursue her own interests. | ||||
| There are two reasons she is not likely to ever meet her Mr. Right. The first problem is that if the rest of his personal characteristics are similarly desirable (not into drugs, no fooling around, etc.), the competition to meet this fellow would make her odds pretty slim. |
Problem # 1 |
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Problem # 2 |
The other reason has to do with the characteristics she finds desirable. Sensitivity and drive, management skill and a willingness not to control, risk taking in business and a stable personal life --- these characteristics are not mutually exclusive, but these combinations are not as likely as others. She is looking for a business wolf and a domestic kitten in the same well sculpted man. Possible, but not likely. | |||
| Her problem is certainly not just a "women thing". I know a guy who thought the woman of his dreams would have dynamite looks (cover girl face, jazzercise body) but not be self absorbed (after all, he was to be the center of her universe), have no “history” with other men but somehow possess that perfect sexual prowess one only dreams about, and be extremely witty and bright but accept his role as “head of the house”. |
Dreams... |
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....and reality! |
The bad news is there are not too many women who fit his specifications. The good news is that he is happily married now. No, not to anyone fitting his dream, but rather, to someone who fits his reality. | |||
| We can’t stand someone who has a lot of “hang ups” but we are afraid of people with no inhibitions. While we don’t want someone clinging to us, we are uncomfortable with someone who doesn’t need us at all. Although we can find people who have integrated a few generally incompatible characteristics, we aren’t likely to find folks with many of them. |
“incompatibles” |
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| Know which “incompatibles” are important to you, search for them, and understand that anyone with a broad range of incompatible characteristics is either lying or living in a rubber room! | ||||
| All too often singles waste a lot of time and overlook some really fine people in their search for someone who probably does not exist. Some personal characteristics are just not likely to be found together. Take a look at your list of things you are looking for in a partner, and try to identify incompatible characteristics - then delete the incompatible characteristic you can do without - before you accidentally delete a great person you shouldn't do without! |
Dump characteristics, not people |
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| You will meet some folks who appear to be perfect for you, they even seem to have all of those incompatible characteristics you are looking for. But didn’t anyone ever tell you that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? | ||||
| Maybe you just met a professional single or perhaps a chameleon, in either case, they are willing to say whatever you indicate you want to hear. Because they seem so perfect, you overlook that very real and honest (but apparently less perfect) person standing next to them. | ||||
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Sticking to impossible standards.... |
That’s a shame. If you aren’t careful, you can set standards so high that no real person can ever meet them. If real people can’t measure up, you have limited yourself to the liars who pretend to meet your criteria. | |||
| By the time the liars are through messing with your mind and breaking your heart, the other (real) person has met someone who actually appreciates honesty, and who prefers reality over lies in a fantasy land. Don’t give up your dreams, but don’t let dreams ruin your reality. |
....may leave you stuck with a liar! |
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| Articles and information appearing in SingleStuff.com simply represent our opinions. We do not pretend to be counselors, psychologists, attorneys or other professionals, and any advice you read here should be taken from that perspective. If you need legal, psychological, medical, or other professional services you should contact an appropriate professional. | ||||
Contact Us! |
mailto:comments@singlestuff.com |
Share Your Thoughts And Ideas |
| It can be tricky, trying to find your way around a website - so we figured that although this is not a very sophisticated approach, it is certainly easy! This list appears near the bottom of each page, so you can always find what you want... | ||||
About SingleStuff.com |
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Home |
Home, sweet home... Learn about SingleStuff.com, find out about what we offer DFW Metroplex singles, and see how we are different from dating services.... | |||
| SingleStuff.com helps people get involved in a lot of things, but we are best known for our dinners and similar activities - learn a little more about how they work. |
Dinners |
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Sponsorships and Advertising |
You already know we don't have a membership fee, and the donations at events are too small to amount to much - this page tells you how we keep the website funded (along with contributions !). | |||
Articles |
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Dating Services, Matchmakers, and On-Line Alternatives |
We did a little research, and made a few observations. Our opinions on some of the available ways for singles to meet people in the DFW Metroplex..... | |||
| We are convinced that there are a lot of really great single people, and meeting them eventually means dating. The key is to be as safe as possible in the process... This article takes a look at telephone privacy, e-mail security, and some things to think about when you finally meet "face to face". |
Dating Safely |
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Intimacy |
Intimacy is a lot more than just sex - this article takes a look at the "Leave It To Beaver" television family to examine various forms of intimacy. | |||
| You should not make a bunch of compromises or changes in order to "catch a mate", that is dishonest to you and them. On the other hand, if you were to be totally honest, there are some self improvement issues you have been avoiding that would make you happier with yourself - and more attractive to the opposite sex! |
It's Broke, So Fix It!! |
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Church and Singles |
Exactly how does a single person choose a church - by how large the single's group is? Will you really meet a "better" person at church? We have some thoughts you may want to consider.... | |||
| You're through licking you wounds from your last breakup, you date until you meet someone great, you go out a while until you discover they are not for you, you break up, and lick your wounds. This takes too long, there has got to be a better way! |
Date like You Aren't Going to Live forever |
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Finding The Perfect Partner, Having It All In Three Easy Steps |
Yeah, right! Have you ever considered that some of the things you are looking for in your "perfect partner" are almost impossible to find in one person - we call them the "incompatibles". Another thought - while you are running around looking for someone who probably does not exist, you are missing your chance to meet someone who does.... | |||
| Is it possible that there are "professional singles" who are great at being single, but don't have what it takes to develop long term healthy relationships? Is it possible that they need a constant supply of "fresh meat", naive singles? Is it possible that some singles groups help make this system function? |
Single Groundhogs and Their Predators |
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It's A Numbers Game... But You Can Improve Your Odds |
Let's be realistic - finding the right person for a great relationship is a lot like looking for the proverbial "needle in a haystack" - and settling for less doesn't seem to make much sense either! People with limited options tend to make bad choices, so let's look at some of the ways to improve your odds. | |||
| You know you've asked yourself that question - so, where are they? Bear with us as we take a look at some pretty revealing statistics - then we explore what they mean to a single person looking for a relationship. |
Where Are All Of The Good Ones? |
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| Articles and information appearing in SingleStuff.com simply represent our opinions. We do not pretend to be counselors, psychologists, attorneys or other professionals, and any advice you read here should be taken from that perspective. If you need legal, psychological, medical, or other professional services you should contact an appropriate professional. | ||||